Five Question Friday- June 29

1. What's your favorite childhood snack that you still eat as an adult?
When I was a kid I would spend all my allowance money on Bulls Eye candies.  They are a thick caramel with cream in the middle.  Yum!  Recently I've been picking them up when we go to the produce market on Saturdays.  I think I need to stop getting fruit so I can stop spending all my money on Bulls Eyes again!  

2. What food will you not eat the low fat version of?
I pretty much don't care for the low fat version of anything!  Sour cream and cheese are specifically gross in low fat versions.

3. What's your favorite way to cool off during the summer?
I like to hang out in my air conditioned home and play on the computer, read a book, or play board games with my family.

4. What's your favorite summer read?
I don't really have a favorite summer read.  I do enjoy being able to catch up on books I've been putting off during the school year due to lack of time.  

5. What are you doing to stay cool in this awful heat?
See #3 above.  Once we're home for the night I get in my p.j.s and hang out under the ceiling fan.

Follow Friday- June 29

This week’s statements:

1.       Watching my dog Tilly eat makes me laugh.  She is the laziest eater ever!  Tilly will lay down on the floor, pull the food bowl over to her, and eat with her head in the bowl.  IF she stands up to eat she will take a mouthful and bring it in front of the TV to eat with the humans.

2.       Sometimes watching the news makes me sad.  For the most part I've stopped watching TV news, and I don't read as much as I used to, either.  The things people do to each other just really gets to me.  Natural disaster doesn't scare me nearly as much as the way people treat others.

3.       My car looks terrible after a dust storm.  Man, these "monsoon" storms are really frustrating me this year!  The truth is we haven't really had a monsoon storm yet, but we've had a couple haboobs.  I don't mind the dust storms themselves, but do they always have to drop just enough rain drops to make mud on my windshield?  I can't wait for our first REAL thunderstorm this year!

4.       When I hear Adele singing I get tears in my eyes.  I don't know what is wrong with me lately, but it seems I get teary at the drop of a hat.  My mom keeps hinting it could be my age.  I think it's more likely that I am under a lot of pressure constantly and need a release.  Anyway, I have recently discovered Adele.  Her voice just has a quality that really grabs my attention.  A couple of her songs have beats that touch something deep within me and let's me dance, sing, and really let go.  I can't believe that girl is only 24-years-old!

Something I've Always Wanted

Prompt and Picture Credit

I hate to sound spoiled, but I have to say that there is nothing I still desire that I wanted as a child.  I am pretty content.  I don't have the biggest and best of everything, but I have what I need to live.  There is plenty of food on the table, and in those moments I fear there won't be I know that friends and family WILL step in to help in a desperate situation.  My kids will never starve.  This I know.  I drive my dream car (a Hyundai Santa Fe).  I live in a beautiful three bedroom, two bath home in a wonderful part of town.  Some people say my career is the one I chose from the time I was in Kindergarten.  Who could ask for anything more?

Reunion

My 20-year high school reunion is coming up next month, and I am becoming frustrated with it.  I'm not having a problem at all with the fact that we became adults 20 years ago, making us dangerously close to being old.  I'm not having a problem feeling like I don't measure up to my classmates.  Life is actually looking pretty decent for me right now.  I'm not having a problem with my body image.  I've seen pictures of some of the people I went to school with.  I'm not doing terrible in that area, either.

What I AM having a problem with is that I STILL just don't fit in.  Our reunion committee once again picked a place that is out of my league, in a price range I can't afford.  It's Homecoming and Prom all over again.  Instead of having a decently priced venue that could be semi-formal, this is definitely a "go all out" type of event.  I would have to buy a special dress just for the night.  The tickets, per person, are $100.  Wow!  I hope the people I graduated with are doing better financially than I am.

What would be wrong with a pot-luck picnic at a near-by park?  We could move our reunion from July to October so the weather would be more friendly for that type of gathering.  What about decorating the gym and having a buffet meal?  I know, I sound old fashioned and perhaps even stodgy.  Just call me Maxine!  Seriously, though, do we always have to be showing off?

When I posed this question to the reunion committee they said that the venue was the best bang for the buck.  Somehow I just don't believe that a high-end hotel in one of the most expensive cities around us is really the most cost-effective choice.  My class wouldn't know how to do a pot luck if it bit them in the.... well, you get the picture.

The funny thing is that I recognize the names of the people I graduated with, but beyond that I really don't know any of these people.  I was in a graduating class of 833 students.  Of those, I am connected with the ones I remember best through Facebook or email.  Sure, there are a couple I would like to find, and there are a few I would really like to see.  For the most part, though, those people who I'm not connected with are just memories that don't need to be sparked anyway.

I'm not a big drinker, I don't dance at all, and the music would probably be too loud to carry a conversation. Or maybe I'm just getting hard of hearing.  Either way I don't think the atmosphere sounds enjoyable.  And I certainly don't want to pay $200 to sit around and make small talk with people I'm not sure I remember.  I'd much rather bring our families to a park and give us something genuine to talk about.  Maybe I'm just a big party pooper.  I never was into the big celebrations and gatherings.

Monday's Music Moves Me- June 25

This week's theme is a freebie.



I thought of this song as this week's Monday's Music Moves Me because Daniel and I just celebrated our 12 year wedding anniversary.  This is a song we listened to again and again when we were first married.  There is so much that goes unsaid in a relationship.  Thank you, I love you, I appreciate you.  Sometimes it doesn't need to be said, it is understood.

I had never seen this video before and was surprised to see the focus on the parent/ child, and what appeared to be grandparent, relationship.  I had never thought about this song from that perspective, but it does make sense.  I hope my daughters know that we would be there for them if they were to ever fall.  Not all children have that reassurance.

Quotable Bits- June 26

When I saw this quote, I knew it was the right one for today.  Why is it that this seems to be true?  There have been so many times in life that things just seemed to fall into place once I've really made the decision that I want something to happen.  It could be said that I was making it happen because of hard work, but there are many times that I would have told you I was working harder before the decision than after.  I think this goes along with the idea that everything happens for a reason.  Once our decisions fall in line with the plan for the universe, it all just seems to work out.  Then again, that could all be hog-wash, too.  Maybe it just seems like things are easier because we're not fighting ourselves anymore.

Five Question Friday- June 22

1. What do you keep a stock pile of?
I don't really purposely keep a stock pile of anything.  I buy when things are on sale, though, so we do tend to have a lot of "something" around at any time.  Right now that happens to be tuna.  For a couple of weeks, every time we were at the grocery store, either Daniel or I would insist we didn't have tuna in the pantry.  We'd get home and there would be 10 cans already on the shelf.  Oh well, we eat lots of tuna, so it works!

2. If Ben & Jerry asked you to invent an ice cream, what would it be?
I think any ice cream I can imagine has already been invented.  I like peanut butter ice cream with chunks of real peanut butter.  Anything with coconut sounds good right now, too.

3. How do you blow off steam?
Any time I need to, really.  I try to release emotional pressure BEFORE I blow up, but that is not always successful.  I try to take some time for me everyday, which is the best way for me to relax.  Having a borrowed treadmill to use has been REALLY helpful in that area!  I have been able to get in a little exercise every day.  That goes a long way in blowing off steam.


4. What would you do if you had an hour to yourself anywhere within a ten mile radius of your home...no kids, no hubby, just you?
Fortunately this actually happens pretty regularly for me because Daniel is great about dragging the kids with him when he goes out to do manly errands like the Home Depot.  I usually wind up reading a book, cleaning the house, or playing on the computer.  I do all of these things when the kids are home, too.  Lately I've been enjoying some time to myself shopping at the thrift stores.  I need new work clothes, so taking an hour here and there has been nice.  I get some time away, I get new clothes, and I don't spend a bundle. 

5. When you were 16, what was your curfew in the summertime?
My parents used the city curfew to guide them.  Our city said 16-year-olds should be in their homes by 10 PM.  So, whether it was the weekend or summer, it didn't matter.   I was to be in the house by city curfew, and my parents believed there was nothing to do other than get into trouble after that time, anyway.  I fought that argument for a long time, but now that I have children of my own I completely understand and agree.  There is no reason a 16-year-old needs to be out past 10 PM unless it is a special occasion.  Go to bed at a reasonable time, get up early the next morning, and hang out with your friends then.  That way you'll have all day.  I also don't agree with teenagers sleeping until noon.  Even as a teen I was out of bed and ready for the day by 8:00 in the morning.  I hate wasting days!

Happy Anniversary, Daniel!

Where has time gone?  Today is our 12th wedding anniversary.  I don't even feel old enough to have been married for 12 years, much less figuring in the fact that this is actually my second marriage!  Yet, we are both showing signs of age.  Both of us have a touch of grey sneaking into our hairlines- me a little more than you.  Of course, you are four years younger than I am.  You have some time to catch up.  Your hair is starting to thin, though- quite a bit in some areas.  We both have some wrinkles on our faces and a few more pounds than we used to carry around.  But, we have so many memories and stories to tell, too.

This year has been crazy- a roller coaster really.  Which is quite a fitting description with what we now know.  On this day last year I was lying in bed and asked you if I was going to die.  You honestly couldn't tell me no.  You were as uncertain as I was.  I will always appreciate that you were so honest with me.  You've always had an attitude that we will fight our demons together- no matter how big those monsters are.  I did recover, though, for the most part.  I still have a lot of pain and frustration with nerve damage, but I'm here.  I had said then that if I could teach I would be happy.

I just finished my first year of teaching.  What an experience!  I loved that you came to my classroom with me so often and cleaned my desks.  It helped me see that this was an important experience to you, too.  When we found out I wasn't going to have a contract for next year you were the first to encourage me to find the job I really enjoy instead of settling for something just to have financial security.  I love that you want me to be happy.

Our daughters are growing so fast.  They are already at the stage where they want to be away from the house all the time- out with their friends.  They don't call it playing anymore; it's hanging out.  Already!  I look at Andrea and can clearly remember being her age.  Amber is not too far behind.  You are so good with them.  You talk to them like they are human beings.  You give them the benefit of the doubt that they can understand what you mean when you talk to them without talking AT them.  Both girls know so much about life because you have taken the time.  I remember the one time Andrea asked how the water came out of the faucet and you began to tell her and show her the pipes.  She finally got bored and wandered away, but you cared enough to answer her question.  When we brought Amber home after being born, you and Andrea sat on the front porch watching the Preying Mantis for an hour while I napped inside with the baby.  You've been a great father!

Staying together hasn't always been easy.  I'll be the first to admit that.  With your recent bipolar diagnosis, though, I can understand what we've been through a lot better.  I am so proud of how hard you are working at staying stable and continuing to become healthy.  I know it's not easy, and I know that not all patients want to give to their families the way you do.  I thank you for realizing this isn't just something that affects you;  it takes a toll on all of us.  We'll keep figuring it out, though.  The ups and downs of life will someday become just that- normal life events that don't scare us quite the way they do now.

It's definitely been a year.  We've been through more changes and events than I would have thought possible to survive.  We did it, though!  The other day you left a note on my desk that said "Everything will be okay." You then crossed out the "will be" and wrote "is."  You are right, Daniel.  Together we make everything okay.  We'll get where we need to be together.  We've always been an incredible team.  I can't wait to see what the next year will bring us.

Happy Anniversary!
Karen

Follow Friday- June 22

This week’s statements:

1.       I love a great cup of coffee on a rough morning.  Okay, any morning really.  For some reason coffee at home just isn't the same.  I love the hot drinks at the convenience stores even though they are loaded with calories.  They are just an awesome "pick-me-up."  Daniel recently found me an iced coffee at 7-11 that is WONDERFUL!  


The only exception to the home-brewed coffee rule is when my friend Dan used to bring me a mug.  When Dan and Mira were our neighbors, our kids would walk to school together, and the girls would play at our house after school until their parents would arrive in the evening.  Many a morning Dan would pop by with a coffee doctored just the way I like it to say good morning and thank you for hanging out with the girls.  Man, I miss them living next door!  

2.       If I could vacation anywhere I would go to Sea World.  Daniel and I have never been on a traditional vacation in the 13 years we've been together.  I REALLY want to take my family to Sea World.  We're hoping that with me now having a full time job we will be able to afford a trip next summer.  If not then, definitely the year following.  We'll see how well that works out.  I told the girls that I want to visit the Sea World in Texas since none of us have ever been there.

3.       When I grow up, I want to do exactly what I'm doing now.  I really do have it all.  I'm married, I have two beautiful children, and I have a job I love.  These are all the things that were on my list defining success for me since I was a child.  It took me a bit longer to get here than I would have liked, but I still have plenty of time to enjoy it!

4.       The best memories I ever formed went undocumented.  I was thinking about this the other day when a friend of mine reminded me of a time we were young, silly, and a bit on the wild side.  It was one of those memories that literally made me laugh out loud.  I have scrapbook after scrapbook of times I thought I wanted to remember.  They rarely get opened, and I've come to realize that the best moments were those that were so spontaneous I didn't even consider having a camera in my hand.  

Matching My Philosophy

I have to be honest and blunt here and tell you all that I am SUPER excited that I will be heading to a school who shares my educational philosophy.  I am looking forward to next school year with excitement.  Though I've tried to keep a positive attitude over the last year, there were times I questioned if I was cut out for teaching.  As a started looking for a new job, Daniel encouraged me to be very picky- to find a school I would love.  He feared that if I had another experience like this year I would not return to teaching.

Let's be honest.  It's just not me to change grades based on parent demand.  That was asked of me this school year, though I wanted to paint a rosy picture of it and not admit that was exactly what was happening.  The school didn't want to fail a particular student because of his parents' involvement, so I excused many missing assignments to get to a passing grade.  This was a student who had 26 missing assignment in one semester!  He needed to learn from his lack of effort.  What he learned was not responsibility or accountability.  Instead he learned that he will be excused because of his name.  It frustrates the day-lights out of me!  This is only one example of how my personal philosophy clashed with that of the school.

I'm teaching summer school in the same district but at a different campus.  I am SO glad they dragged their feet on hiring me officially and getting a contract in my hand!  I would almost definitely be out of teaching by this time next year if I had stayed there.  My students are rude, they do not follow directions, and no amount of classroom management skill has been effective in changing their behavior.  Again, administration makes excuses instead of changes.  Supposedly these students are misbehaved because they are from other countries and don't understand our system.  The worst child, though, has been at the school since Kindergarten and has a reputation for being difficult to handle.  Hmmmmmmm..... I also found out that the teacher I would be replacing is leaving due to the behavior issues that could never get under control.

The new school is based on the principles of leadership outlined in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."  Based on information I got they truly stick to these principles.  The teachers and staff live the seven habits as well as teaching them and expecting students to do so as well.  I can't WAIT to get started in the new school year.  I start training on July 1, and school starts July 30.

Comfort Zone

Write about a time you were forced to step out of your comfort zone.

In the last several years I have had to step out of my comfort zone about a million times.  I'm not sure that is an exaggeration, either.  Why in the world would someone who hates to be in the spotlight choose teaching as a career?  I've asked myself this more times than I can count.  Yet, that is exactly what I did.  I have grown incredibly through this experience.

For some reason, being in front of a bunch of students doesn't make me uncomfortable.  Even though 30 sets of eyes are right on me, it doesn't bother me at all.  Put me in front of 30 adults, though.... well, that's a different story.  That was actually the first time I was out of my comfort zone in school, too.  Don't ask me why I didn't think there would be oral reports in teaching college, and there were mock lessons to be presented as well.  


It seems like every week when I was in school there was some occasion to be in front of my peers.  Over time I started to become comfortable, but it was never the same as it is walking into a classroom of elementary children.  I guess the entire point was to prepare us to be in the spotlight, and that goal was achieved.  I even did a few open house presentations to 20 or so parents.  I am NOT, however, looking forward to presenting at the big parent night at my new school.

Quotable Bits- June 19

Quote credit

I used to think I always needed to be productive.  I always had to have a goal, an objective, a task to be completed.  It drove me to do a lot of wonderful things, but I think I also missed out on some.  I was never the type of sit around and play Barbies with my daughters.  Sometimes I wish I had.

When I got sick I was forced to occupy my time doing what I would have normally considered wasting time.  I never called it relaxing before that time.  Sure, I would play on the internet, read, and horse around with video games, but I always felt that time had to be monitored and justified.  I spent four months relearning how to live.  I spent four months learning that life is about more than crossing "to-dos" off a list.

During the time I couldn't participate fully in life I made some wonderful on-line friends, reconnected with friends in real life, and spent more time with my family than I ever had.  Interactions were sometimes overwhelming in large groups, so I spent a lot of time with just my husband and children, watching TV or doing something else that took little brain power.  In a way, though at the time it frustrated the heck out of me, this was a blessing.  I truly learned that spending time for ME, doing the things I enjoyed, was as essential as the feeling of accomplishment.  The dishes didn't always have to be done the minute a meal ended, laundry didn't need to be folded the second the dryer stopped running, and if the floors didn't get swept one day that was just too bad.  My husband, children, parents, family, and friends.... they couldn't wait another day.  I didn't always know there would be another day.

I now enjoy life, and while I may not have the cleanest house I have a sense of satisfaction.  I know that at the end of my life I will be able to say that I did the things that mattered most to me.  I did the things that mattered the most to those I care about.

Monday Quiz About Me- June 18

I'm sorry I cannot get the Monday Quiz About Me badge to work.  Please visit Acting Balanced and scroll to the meme to find more great blogs who are also participating!

1. What is your favorite movie quote or song lyric of all time?

I am so, so lame!  I really don't have a favorite movie quote, and my favorite song lyrics change depending on what is happening in my life.  I guess right now 

"There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move"

from "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus sums it up well.  This is definitely me- always looking to move mountains.  Once one challenge is complete it's not too long before I'm involved in another.

2. If you had to choose a novel for a book club to read and discuss, which one would you pick? 
I just finished "Defending Jacob" by William Landay.  I think that would make an excellent book club pick!

3. When was the last time you danced?  What brought you to it? 
It's been a couple of weeks but the "Just Dance 3" game on the Wii is a wonderful workout and a ton of fun.  That's pretty much the only time you'll catch me dancing, unless I catch a Zumba class.

4. Do you typically remember your dreams?
Rarely.  When I do remember dreams it seems to come in clusters.  I wonder if that means those days I'm getting better quality sleep.  I'm a pretty light sleeper and usually wake up several times throughout the night.  When I'm out, though, I'm amazed at how much has gone on around me without my knowledge.


And, question #5:  What is your favorite summer activity?
I love to take advantage of the air conditioned house and play games with my family or read a book.  

Names

The prompt:
I almost named my child Tiffany, but chose Andrea instead because…


Okay, I'll admit it.  I didn't really like the name Tiffany a whole lot either.  (Sorry to those of you out there with the name.  I do not mean to be offensive.)  When my mom begged me not to name my daughter Tiffany ("I do NOT want to listen to people whining Tiffie all her life!) I shot back, "then you figure out something better."


Just a couple weeks before her due date, we still hadn't figured out a name for our daughter, and I was at a point I wasn't too worried about it.  With everything else that goes into raising a child her name was the last thing on my mind.  I know... dumb, right.  It's only something she will live with for the rest of her life.  To be honest I was still hoping she was a boy as we had been told through the whole pregnancy right up until an emergency ultrasound a couple of weeks before.  The boy's name we had ready to go.  


On Christmas Day my husband and I were hanging around at my parent's house commenting that the baby's due date was only a week away.  My mom brought up the subject of our terrible prep-school sounding name yet again.  For about the thirtieth time I told my mom that if she would throw out a name we liked better Tiffany would go out the window in a heart beat.


My dad finally said, "Ann.  Her name should be Ann."  That is my middle name, and it is just too short for a first name.  When I said that Dad replied, "Drea.  Andrea."  


"That's it!" my husband almost shouted.  "I like it."


"What's her middle name then?" I asked.  I had already fallen in love with the name Andrea and knew our name dilemma was over.  


"Christine," my dad stated as if it were obvious.  If he and my mom had had another child his name would have been Christopher.  "Andrea Christine."  It was beautiful and, for us, it was WAY better than Tiffany.  Andrea is definitely NOT a Tiffany.  I'm glad we were able to solve that problem over Christmas dinner.

Happy

Photo and Prompt Credit

Having suffered from mild/ moderate depression due to my thyroid levels being off and stress piling up higher than my head, I can honestly say there were days when nothing made me happy.  Not the sound of my children laughing, not my husband holding me tight, not writing or reading or any of the activities that I enjoy.  Not only was I not happy, I was uninterested in anything other than crawling into bed and staring at the wall.  It is not an experience I wish on anyone.

Unfortunately I can't tell you that I did anything for this problem.  It took weeks of my husband, who was working on his own issues with bipolar disorder, to finally convince me it was time to see a doctor.  He explained over and over again that I wasn't being myself.  I kept using the reasoning that anyone would have this reaction when the world was collapsing around them.

Perhaps it is true that my reaction was a normal one.  The fact is that we all need a little help sometimes.  Thank goodness Daniel pushed me in the right direction, encouraging me and reassuring me that medical intervention is not a sign of weakness.  I was absolutely sure, in my not-so-straight-thinking mind, that no one would hire a teacher who had mental problems.  I could have sabotaged my entire career if I had continued down this path of refusal of assistance.

So, the answer to this question is that I got medical assistance.  I saw a doctor who put me on an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication.  He also tested my thyroid levels that same day.  A couple days later he called to tell me my thyroid was so far off he was bumping my medication up two doses.  Within days of that I was able to go off the anti-anxiety medication as I was having NO anxiety symptoms.  The anti-depressant was dropped shortly after that.

I'm sharing this with you today because I know there are MANY people out there who hesitate on getting the help they need because they feel embarrassed or that seeking professional help is a sign of weakness.  I feel just the opposite, especially after my experiences in the past three months.  Seeing a doctor when you can't do it on your own takes incredible strength and courage.  If you are in the same boat, I urge you to ask a friend to hold your hand while you pick up the phone and make an appointment.  You deserve to be healthy and happy.

Six Word Saturday- June 16

Happy Father's Day to All Dads!

I've been watching the Father's Day commercials on TV, and they are really starting to frustrate me.  Why are dad's treated with such disrespect?  Come on!  Do you REALLY think most fathers want new tools for a gift?  That's like running an ad for vacuums for Mother's Day.  Can you imagine the uproar that would cause?  Seriously.

Maybe I'm sensitive, or maybe I was just raised a little differently, but one commercial I saw yesterday advertised nothing but lame clothing and a watch.  These are all things (tools included) that Dads are going to be buying themselves anyway.  They need to be dressed, and the tools are probably being used to fix something for their wives and children anyway.  It just seems disrespectful to me.

Now I will admit that there are times a good tool makes an excellent gift.  If your husband or father has asked specifically for something, then by all means, get it for him!  Just picking random tools because they are on sale, though.... that's going to sit in the garage gathering dust.  Boring.  The idea holds true with clothing as well.  If there is something Dad wouldn't ordinarily spend the money on but you know he really wants, go for it.  Another tie or golf shirt.... to me that just shows that you really don't know the man you are claiming to honor.  Gift giving and me don't get along very well to begin with, so that's probably the real source of my frustration.  I hate how holidays make us feel obligated to spend money.

Daniel asked me a couple days ago to not get him anything.  I am going to do that, even though I usually cheat.  To be honest, I have NO idea what I could possibly get for him, and he asked me not to feel stressed about it.  I'm going to take advantage of his understanding.  I wish it were different, but even if we had all the money in the world right now the only thing I could even guess Daniel would like is a treadmill.  That is definitely NOT in the budget at the moment!

My dad is getting a couple books.  It's become a tradition of sorts.  My dad loves jokes, trivia, and comics, and we love hearing him relay what he has read.  Every time I go to the thrift store or pass the library book sale (weekly), I stop and see if there is a book that Dad would enjoy.  I collect all of them until a gift giving opportunity arises.  Sometimes Dad gets two books, sometimes he gets many.  This Father's Day he will be getting one bathroom reader and one book based on the TV show "Myth Busters."  I can't wait to see what he thinks of the Myth Busters book since he hasn't seen the show to my knowledge.

Well, no matter what you got your dad this year, I hope you have a great time.  The important part is spending time together or stopping to let Dad know you were thinking of him.  Happy Father's Day!

Monday's Music Moves Me- June 11- Very Late!

This song, "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts, has been on my mind a lot lately.  I played it for my students on their last day of school.  Most of them didn't particularly care about the lyrics, but a couple "got" the message.  One girl even said she was going to put the song on her iPod so she could remember me, the class, and what I was saying to the them.  


More importantly than my students, though, this song has been speaking to me.  The entire song is incredible, but a couple lines keep jumping out at me:


"And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose, 
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you."


Life is all about choices, and I've had to make quite a few of them lately.  This is a great method to use when you don't know which path to take.  What, in the long run, is going to help you feel fulfilled and help you live a meaningful life?  

Sunday Social- June 17- A Lot Late!

Favorite movie of all time?  I don't know that I necessarily have a favorite movie of all time, but there are three that pop into my head as movies I particularly enjoyed.  They are "The Wedding Singer," "Music & Lyrics," and "Edward Scissorhands."  The musical score for "Edward Scissorhands" is amazing!  I used to have it on CD and loved it.  Hmmmmm.... now I know what I want for my birthday!

Favorite movie quote?  I am a boring person.  I don't have favorites of much of anything.  One quote I enjoyed from a movie came from "Where the Wild Things Are" when Max became King.  "Let the wild rumpus start!"  Whenever I'm frustrated I think of this part in both the book and movie and think of the song from the soundtrack.  It helps with the frustration.  My family knows if I say I'm having a Max day that I'm feeling anxious, frustrated, or out of control emotionally.

Best movie to watch for a girls night in?  Either "Music & Lyrics" or "The Wedding Singer"

Best breakup movie?  I have no idea, maybe because I would never have considered sitting down and watching a movie during a breakup.  Or maybe because it's been a REALLY long time since I've had to handle a breakup.  Either way, I just can't imagine myself throwing a DVD in when I am that upset.  A good movie to PREVENT a breakup is "The Story of Us."  My husband and I have watched that movie several times over the twelve years we have been married.  There is always something new to catch onto, and it is something we can relate to.

Favorite celeb eye candy?  Again, I don't really have a favorite.  One that comes to mind right away, though, is Patrick Dempsey.  It's actually kind of funny, because when I first heard about Grey's Anatomy and "McDreamy" I thought it had to be an incredibly stupid show.  When I was sick last year I stumbled across Grey's and was surprised to find out Patrick Dempsey was "that guy."  I would have watched sooner had I known!  *grin*

Which movie star's closet would you want to raid?  I can't think of anyone's closet I would want to raid.  I'm not all that into clothing and definitely not shoes.  I WOULD like some new work clothes that make me look spectacular, but that's going to be a matter of shopping to find the right thing for me.  Losing some weight would help in this area, too.

I Got a Job!

The search is over!  I will be working as a 6th grade homeroom teacher at American Leadership Academy.  Mine will be the Mesa campus.  ALA has two campuses in the Valley, but they are opening three new schools.  I'm so excited that I will be in a classroom with my own students AND a brand new fresh start for everyone.  I can't wait to see what my classroom looks like!

After all this time, after all this worry and frustration, I really don't have much to say.  I have a job, I'm excited about the pay and benefits, and I REALLY liked the principal I will be working under.  Now it's just a matter of getting started.  I have training the first couple weeks of July, I'll have a week off, then I'll head in for in-service training and setting up my classroom.  My first day of school is July 30.

I really liked that my principal asked me to take some time to relax and enjoy myself between now and the start of school.  She wants me to read the book "The Leader in Me" by Stephen Covey and become familiar with the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by the same author because the school is based on those principles.  Other than that, she recognizes that I am teaching summer school and tutoring, so I won't have much of a break.  She wants me "ready to hit the ground running" when school starts, so she said not to worry a whole lot about preparing for the school year.  There will be plenty of time for that in the various training sessions.

So... it's time to have some fun with teaching again.  I don't have to worry about where I will be working or if I will be making enough money or even if we will be able to afford medications.  We will have health insurance on October 1 (great birthday present to me) and my first full-time paycheck in the middle of August.  Life is looking pretty good today!

Self Esteem

Photo and prompt credit

Through all of our challenges, this answer has never changed.  Daniel is the most awesome friend and husband ever.  He really does work hard to help me see the value in myself and to never let me give up.  Sometimes I think he desires success for me more than I do for myself.  I won't complain, though.  Those were probably days that I COULDN'T do it on my own, and he really did need to carry me.

Scorpion

Photo Credit

My mom mentioned on Facebook that she had killed a scorpion in her office the other night. She almost picked it up before she realized what it was.  Ick!  The nasty things about scorpions here in Arizona is that they do blend in so nicely.  It wouldn't be hard to be stung simply because one didn't notice the disgusting critter.  In fact, within the same week as my mom's scorpion story I've killed one on my back porch (Daniel almost put his hand right on it) and one in the garage (I almost stepped on that one).  I have a feeling this is going to be quite the year for scorpion sightings.  It's time to get out the Diatomaceous Earth and put down a hefty dose all around the house.

This whole scorpion killing spree reminded me of a funny story, though, and I just had to share it with you.  I think this is the one and only time I can remember Daniel actually being genuinely upset with me enough to yell.  Honestly, he had every reason.  I didn't make this same mistake a second time.

It all started on a summer afternoon, much like the ones we've experienced the past week or so.  The temperatures are too hot to go outside in the middle of the day, but the kids still wanted to play.  Andrea was not quite a year old and our foster son Alex was three.  The kids wandered off into the bedroom to play, Andrea following Alex as usual.

A few minutes later Alex came into the living room where I was reading a book.  "Hey, Mom.  There's a spider in the boat."  Alex loved to dump every toy out of the toy box and climb inside.  Sometimes it was a tree house; other times it was a car.  Today, apparently, it was a boat.

I walked into the bedroom where Andrea was still sitting in the toy box.  "Okay, Mister.  Where is this spider?" Alex triumphantly pointed to an upside down bowl.  "I trapped him in the dish."  Thank goodness I thought to take Andrea out of the toy box before moving the bowl.  Under the Tupperware was not a spider, but a scorpion.  I screamed as the bowl went flying through the air.   Without taking my eyes of the critter I said.  "Alex, take Andrea and go play in the living room please.  Bring me the phone, too."

Daniel would be home from work soon, I knew, but I wasn't sure exactly how close he was.  I dialed his cell phone number hoping he would pick up quickly.  "I'll be home in a minute," he said once I explained the situation.  I don't know what happened in those few minutes, but somehow I lost track of the scorpion.

Upon his arrival Daniel rushed into the bedroom and let out a groan.  Oops, I had forgotten the entire toy box was scattered around the room.  My husband was used to coming home to a pretty clean house.  This sight must have been frustrating.  But it wasn't the toys being scattered that annoyed Daniel.  Well, it WAS the toys being scattered that irritated him, just not for the reasons I thought.  "Karen, that scorpion could be ANYWHERE by now.  Why didn't you just kill it when you had a chance?"  The honest answer was because I was terrified.  I couldn't move, I couldn't think.

My superhero sat in that bedroom for an hour, picking up one toy, examining it, declaring it scorpion-free, then setting it in the toy box.  Oh, that was the first thing he checked, by the way.  The bug wasn't hiding in the box.  It had definitely escaped.  Toy after toy got a complete inspection.  "Eeek," I finally heard from the bedroom.  I guessed my guy had found the scorpion.  A few minutes later he came out, nasty intruder in hand, and declared the bedroom safe once again.  My hero!

Saturday 9: June 9

Saturday 9: Changes

1. Do you believe people can truly change?

I am still pulled about how I feel about this.  I want to believe people can change, but I haven't seen much evidence of this.  Every time I think someone has changed and I act accordingly I wind up getting hurt.  To be honest, I now assume that people have NOT changed.  If they behave different, well, I guess I'm in for a pleasant surprise!

2. Do you think there is anything wrong with being average?

We are all average in many ways.  In some ways we are above average, and in other ways we have much we could improve on.  I don't think anyone in this world is more special or more worthy than anyone else.  There is something for ALL of us to offer!

3. Do you believe in fairy tale love?

No.  There is no such thing as perfection.  If there is, someone is not being honest.  We all have problems now and then.  I do believe we can work on it, but love doesn't just fall into place without some difficulties now and then.

4. Has anyone ever spread something malicious about you?

Of course.  I think at some point everyone is talked about behind their back. 

5. Have you ever done something at a party that you've ever regretted?

Not that I can think of.  I don't go to many parties.

6. How do you go about setting your goals?

I don't really go through a formal process for setting goals.  I get an idea in my head and go after it.  If I don't follow through it must not have been too important to me.

7. Do you believe you deserve everything you want?

No.  There are some things I definitely deserve- love, friendship, happiness.  Material things are not deserved, though.  There are a lot of things I want, but I put the word deserve into the same category as entitled.

8. Do you have people in your life you could always count on?

Absolutely!  My parents and a couple of close friends.  

9. Did you ever make a close friend from someone that you've dated?

I'm not one who can really stay friends with someone I've dated.  It just never works out that way.  There is too much of a different kind of connection for me.

Quotable Bits- June 10

“During job interviews, when they ask: ‘What is your worst quality?’, I always say: ‘Flatulence’. That way I get my own office.”- Dan Thompson

I've got to tell you... this job interview process is draining.  Every day I wake, dress up, and try to stay peppy and positive.  I drive to the interview, lay myself on the line with the incredibly annoying questions usually asked, then drive home after being told "we'll be in touch."  Many sound promising, yet an offer hasn't yet been extended.  It's driving me insane!

I can only hope that by doing this many interviews it's a sign that I will have some choices.  A friend of mine got an offer at a REALLY good pay and the school sounds wonderful.  I am so happy for her!  I put in an application with the same district, so maybe we'll be able to teach together.  I've had a phone interview with the same district and now have a second interview and teaching sample scheduled for Tuesday.  Whooo Hoooo!

This is not easy on the self-esteem, let me tell you.  I guess as a kid job interviews were easy.  I left the place being offered a position and was scheduled to meet with the HR department to find out when I started work.  I suppose professional hiring isn't quite the same as choosing a grocery bagger or a cashier.  I know I'm just being impatient, but I'm ready to be done already.  I NEED stability and the comfort of knowing I have a job set up.  

Six Word Saturday- June 9

Sitting home, finally relaxing a bit

It is Saturday afternoon, and after an incredibly busy week we are finally slowing down for a bit.  I am "watching" a movie with the girls.  Actually, it is so boring I finally gave in and pulled out my laptop so I'm sitting with the kids while they enjoy the film.  (It is "Tale of Desperaux," by the way.)  Daniel has slipped away to take a nap.  All of our errands are done for the weekend, and the rest of the time is for us.

The feeling of having time to settle down is a strange one right now.  It seems I am always running from place to place or have something on my mind.  It's nice to just spend time doing something I enjoy without feeling guilty about it.  The girls even have their daily chores completed, so we are completely free.  Ahhhhh!!!!

Quotable Bits- June 9

“Rachel: Do you know the only person who'd wanna listen to this? A mental health professional. And that's only because they get paid a hundred dollars an hour.”

Jenny0103  Friends quotes (American television situation comedy.)

Quote credit

The above quote is credited to the TV show "Friends."  It was meant to be funny- to tell whoever Rachel was talking to that she just didn't care what he or she was saying.  Unfortunately I don't find it so funny.  I have come to realize that if someone is telling us something it is because it is important to that person.  It doesn't have to be important to the listener.

Ten years ago I tried to tell my in-laws about a situation.  I was told that it was my own problem and that I needed to deal with it on my own.  I was told to see a psychologist if I needed to, but we didn't have the resources to do so.  They did, however.  They could have helped... but they didn't.

Somehow I gave up after that meeting.  I stopped thinking anyone could possibly care about my situation and that anyone could help me.  In my mind, no one could understand the life I was living.  I closed up and didn't share with my closest friends, I didn't want to be a bother to my family including my parents, and I decided to give life a go on my own.  Because, after all, the only reason anyone would want to listen to my complaining was if they were being paid for it.

I am so glad I have learned differently now.  Daniel and I did deal with our problems on our own for as long as we could.  Once he saw a psychologist who referred him to a psychiatrist, though, we knew our issues were bigger than us.  We started to open up and share with friends and family what we have been living through for just about our entire marriage.  Though I still find myself protecting the details, I know now I don't have to walk this path alone.  There are people who care about what I have to say and my emotional well-being.  The best part is the people who care have tried to understand the situation without judgement.  They have done the research and found out that what Daniel and I have gone through is very real and not just a problem with our relationship.  (For new readers... my husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in March.  We knew he has struggled with it our entire marriage.)

I shared this quote because I want to stress how important it is to really listen when someone reaches out for help.  You may not understand the problem and you may not be able to fix it.  People need to know that someone else is on their side, though.  

Five Question Friday- June 8

1. Did you do anything special for your kids on the last day of school? Or did you parents do anything special for you?
I sometimes think I really am a horrible mom.  I didn't even think to do anything special for my girls on the last day of school.  They were done on Thursday, and I had my last day of school on Friday.  My mind was completely stuck on wrapping up my own school year and leaving my classroom for the last time.  It's not a good excuse... I know.  

2. What's your favorite summer tradition with your children?
I like to have "sleep overs" with my girls a couple of times during the summer.  We drag pillows and blankets into the living room and watch girly movies Daniel might not enjoy.  I usually sleep in the living room until they fall asleep then climb into my own bed to get some rest.

3. What was your favorite thing to do during the summer as a kid?
Read.  And ride my bike to the library.  Not much different than how I enjoy spending my summers now, except that I drive to the library.  I don't know WHY I thought riding my bike to the library in 100+ degree summer heat was a fun idea.

4. How old were you when you were married? Were you a Bridezilla?
I married for the first time when I had just turned 22 and for the second time when I was 25.  I wasn't Bridezilla.  In fact, when Daniel and I married we changed from the big shindig idea to the Deer Farm venue because I couldn't stand all the stress and craziness of the planning.  Both of my weddings were just the way I wanted them to be (outdoors and on the smaller side with a buffet dinner), and together they cost less than $5,000.

5. What is your favorite girl name?
I like the ones we picked for the girls- Andrea and Amber. 

Monday Quiz About Me- June 4

Today's questions:



1. Finish this sentence - The first thing I do in the morning is.....  go to the bathroom.  Sorry for TMI, but it's the truth and a fact of life. 

2. What is your favorite kind of pie?  I like all sorts of pies.  I think banana cream is still at the top of the list, though.

3. Do you have pets?  Somehow we acquired a couple of dogs.  Long story short, my husband gave in to my daughter's begging for a dog.  It started with us watching a couple long-term.  We never did hear from the owners again, so they became ours. 

4. What is your favorite chair in your house?  I have a leather chair in the corner of the living room that is perfect for me.  I can sit with my laptop, and there is an outlet right next to it to plug in.  The chair faces out into the rest of the room so I can still socialize with my family and not feel I am isolating myself.