I can honestly say I don't think there are any issues I am avoiding at the moment. I do know what it is like to not confront problems, though. I did that for years. I'm not really that great with confrontation and will try to skate around it as often as possible, especially if I'm expected to face it in a calm manner. Generally I wait until something is really bothering me, then I have the courage to bring it up. Unfortunately that usually leaves me in an extremely emotional state, having to deal with both the problem and my frustration. That doesn't go over well.
For more than ten years I avoided an issue with my husband, and in many ways I beat myself up for not facing it sooner. He says, though, that he was never ready to listen until now, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I did my fighting in my own way, and I tried to confront the issue, but it wasn't successful until it was brought out into the open in a way that simply couldn't be taken back.
Most of my readers know that my husband Daniel has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This is the issue I danced around for years. I knew deep down that there was something wrong. Daniel is usually a VERY loving, generous, and thoughtful man. There were times, however, when his demeanor would change. He would become selfish and seemingly uncaring. He just wasn't present in our family life. Sure, he would physically be there (most of the time), but mentally I could tell he just wasn't with us.
After over a decade of going through the ups and downs, never quite sure which side of my husband I was going to see and DEFINITELY knowing I had to stand up for myself in any argument, I got the nerve to tell him to get his bipolar checked out. Okay, I didn't so much tell him as scream at him at the top of my lungs. But I did it. The only issue hanging over my head that has held me back from living the life I believe I deserve. Surprisingly, Daniel's reaction wasn't one of anger but one of relief. "Do you think that could be true?" he asked. Within a week he had seen a psychologist and was getting set up to see a psychiatrist. I had been correct, and we were on our way to a diagnosis and treatment.
I can definitely be an ostrich at times, but there wasn't any time left to keep ignoring this issue. Again, I wish we had confronted the issue earlier, but I'm not sure the outcome would have been as positive. From now on, though, I really do hope I am able to take care of issues as they come up. It is a much more free feeling to not have anything hanging over my head.
After over a decade of going through the ups and downs, never quite sure which side of my husband I was going to see and DEFINITELY knowing I had to stand up for myself in any argument, I got the nerve to tell him to get his bipolar checked out. Okay, I didn't so much tell him as scream at him at the top of my lungs. But I did it. The only issue hanging over my head that has held me back from living the life I believe I deserve. Surprisingly, Daniel's reaction wasn't one of anger but one of relief. "Do you think that could be true?" he asked. Within a week he had seen a psychologist and was getting set up to see a psychiatrist. I had been correct, and we were on our way to a diagnosis and treatment.
I can definitely be an ostrich at times, but there wasn't any time left to keep ignoring this issue. Again, I wish we had confronted the issue earlier, but I'm not sure the outcome would have been as positive. From now on, though, I really do hope I am able to take care of issues as they come up. It is a much more free feeling to not have anything hanging over my head.
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