2011 Reflections

I found this awesome post over at SimpleMom, and even though it was written for 2008 I wanted to share it here. It is a list of reflection questions for the end of the year. As many of you know, 2011 was a crazy year for my family. I have a lot to reflect on, and I have a lot of wishing to do for 2012.

I'm finding out that there are parts of 2011 that I either don't remember entirely or I don't remember the realities of life at that time. Apparently when I got out of the hospital in April everyone else knew how truly sick I was, but I did not. Thanks for letting me in on the secret Daniel!

I hope you will join me in your own reflections for the new year. I don't personally do resolutions, because I think that sets us up for failure when we don't follow through. The old joke is that the resolutions are forgotten by the end of February. I will share some goals, though, to give myself something to work toward.

Reflection Questions for 2011

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year? The single best thing that happened in 2011 was getting a teaching job. I was hoping for a full-time position, but I am thrilled with the job I did get. I applied only two weeks before school started because I wasn't ready to teach before then. Beggars can't be choosers, so I took the job when it was offered. In many ways it's amazing how the timing worked out on that one. The stars all lined up for me just right there.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened? The most challenging thing that happened this year was, of course, the shingles disease that I got and the complications that followed. I think the MOST challenging part of all of that ordeal was needing to use a walker to assist me both at home and in public. I wanted to be part of daily life, but at the same time I wanted to hide where no one could see me. I'm glad my family encouraged me to go out with them on short trips.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year? Something that really brought me joy this year was Amber's karate competitions. I honestly didn't expect to enjoy watching her as much as I have. I really look forward to the tournaments and don't mind spending the day watching all the kids compete. It's neat that Amber found something she enjoys this much.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle? An unexpected obstacle this year was moving the same week I started my teaching job. Things got bad enough in our townhouse complex that we decided we simply couldn't stay. Thank goodness my mom and dad were willing to take us in for six weeks. It would have been longer, but my father-in-law had a rental house open up unexpectedly. Life was a little crazy for the months of August and September, but we all got through it. I actually enjoyed the time we got to spend with my parents.

5. Pick three words to describe 2011. Stressful, relief, growth

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you). Stressful, painful, exhausting

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking). Stressful, changing, aweful

8. What were the best books you read this year? Two stand out above all the rest: "House Rules" and "Handle with Care," both by Jodi Picoult. I didn't get as much reading done this year as I would have liked, but those two were definitely page-turners. Oh, "The Hunger Games" was awesome, too, along with the other two books in the series.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships? Daniel, my mom, my dad, and my girls are always important. I also enjoyed friendships with Kara, Carrie, Mira, and Darshani, especially during the months I was sick. They all kept me going by coming to visit and constant encouragement.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year? I don't really think I've changed much this year. My illness that has lasted nine months was a big change, but I don't think it changed me as a person. I put some of the weight back on I had lost the previous year, and I've recently found out I will not be running again, but I still think I'm the same as I was last December in my strength and attitude.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? I actually feel like my emotional growth has gone backward this year. In December 2010 I was really sure of myself and excited about where I was going. This year I've lost a bit of confidence and am more easily frustrated. I'll be working on that in 2012, though, as I come to accept some of the changes that happened in 2011.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? I didn't really grow spiritually, either. The biggest change here is that I am thankful every day for the health I DO have.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? Sadly my physical health compared to this time last year has gone down hill. Compared to April, 2011, though, I am doing fantastic. I am working with my chiropractor and massage therapist and making improvements each week. They are small changes, but I can now actually turn my neck to look over my shoulder when driving. That's big for me, so I'll celebrate that.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? I have learned how to ask for what I need from people and to ask for help when I need it. I am more honest about what I can and can't do.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home? I had a great time setting up our furniture when we moved into our new home. I also enjoyed picking out some new plants for our yard.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management? With Daniel and I both working, home management isn't as easy as it once was. The most challenging area is getting laundry done on a daily basis.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year? Spending four months on the couch being too sick to know what as going on around me sure wasted some time! Outside of that I spent a lot of time on my blog and Facebook. Although they "wasted" time, I don't see either as negative.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year? I spent some time substitute teaching at the beginning of the year. I think that was really time well-spent so I knew what being in a classroom alone felt like before I got one of my own.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year? The biggest thing I learned this year is that no matter what our plans for the future, we need to be ready to go with the flow. 2011 definitely did not go as planned, but in the end it all worked out. The four of us are together and learning how to handle life. That's the important part.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you. Life's lessons don't always come at the most convenient times. Family and friends will gather around, though, and help you through. Don't think you've failed just because you need to start again.

Friday's Fave Five- December 30, 2011

Sharing five of my favorite moments this week with Susanne of Living to Tell the Story

1.  Last Friday when Daniel came in from work his vacation began.  Every year he takes his vacation between Christmas and New Year.  This year was particularly cool for us because of the way the holidays fell.  Our family wound up with nine days together.  The great part about this is the last time we spent an extended amount of time together I was too sick to really participate with the family.  Even though I need to watch how much I'm doing now, we are spending a lot of time doing a mixture of in-the-house activities and errands.  The important thing is that we are ENJOYING each other!

2.  I have always been an early riser, but the thing about it was that I got up on MY terms.  When my body said it was time to get out of bed I did.  If I wanted to sleep longer on one day I would do so.  Since I've started working and I get everyone else ready to go in the mornings, I have to set an alarm in order to get some quiet time in the mornings.  I have really come to hate the alarm clock!  I can get up naturally at 5:00 AM with no problem if that's when I wake up.  Getting up at 5:30 with an alarm, though... that is torture.  Don't ask me why I'm so strange.  The blessing this week is that there has been only one day we needed to worry about what time we got out of bed.  NO alarm clock all week long, and I have a couple more days to enjoy.  Yep, no alarm clock days are fantastic.

3.  Christmas Eve was a blast!  This year we did something new and had the girls open their gifts a day early.  We sat around and spent time with just the four of us before the craziness of visiting families started.  I loved it!  The girls went to bed nicely because they weren't so worried about how the next day with presents was going to go.  Everyone got the rest they needed, and we were all in good moods for Christmas Day.

4.  On Christmas Day we took our new Wii over to my mom and dad's house.  It was so much fun playing with them!  I couldn't believe how much fun my parents had.  They came over for dinner a couple days later and we played more Wii.  I definitely think I made a good choice with the gift card I had received!

5.  Being able to get into my chiropractor two days early was definitely a nice moment this week!  I had an appointment scheduled for today, but I REALLY needed to get in Wednesday.  It sure pays to have seen the same doctor for 20 years now!  The chiropractor was able to give me some relief to my pain and help me enjoy this week a little bit more.

Four Fill-In Friday- December 30, 2011

1. Lately, I have been feeling a little irritated.  I don't do well when life is not structured, especially since I was sick.  I need to know what the day is going to hold so I can figure out how to balance my energy for the day.  This winter break, when people are typically running around doing way too much is just killing me.

2. I am usually a control freak.  I've had to learn to let some of that go, though.  One thing my husband took over is the invoicing for our business.  Giving that up has been a bit stressful.  He's actually in working on that now, and he talks to himself while he is doing it.  He's not doing it the way I would.  That drives me crazy!  In the end it's done and done right so I really can't complain.


3.  Taking off my shoes is always the best feeling at the end of the day.  I used to come home and take off my shoes almost immediately upon entering the house at the end of a long day.  On work days this was especially enjoyable because I got to signal to myself a job well done.  Unfortunately I am now not allowed to walk around barefoot as we try to build up the arch in my feet.  The massage therapist wants me to have as much support as I can have as often as I can.  Fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen at night without shoes is what we are shooting for.  Now taking off my shoes at night is REALLY the best feeling!

4. Going to the bathroom, taking my Synthyroid, and checking my email is the first thing I do in the morning.  If I don't start the day in this order anything that comes after just doesn't feel right.

Five Question Friday- December 30, 2011

1. What's the oldest piece of clothing in your closet?  Daniel has the jacket he wore on our first date almost 14 years ago.  He still wears it occasionally, and it fits!  I'm so jealous.  I have some pajamas from when we first got together, too.  I think the two of us need to learn to update once in awhile!

2. How many random blog readers have you met?  I haven't met any blog readers in person, but I have met a couple other on-line friends.  My mom and I belonged to a group called Chemo Angels for awhile.  My mom met some of the other angels in our area and introduced me.  They are still a source of support, especially when I REALLY need it.  Hello to Lana and Sue if you are reading!

3. Do you let your kids stay up till midnight on New Years Eve?  We have let our kids stay up on New Year's Eve, but we have a different tradition.  We all go to bed at our regular times and wake up at our regular times the next day.  We go do something like a zoo or park on New Year's Day and usually have the place to ourselves until lunch time!

4. What are the gas prices where you live?  I paid $3.11 last week when I filled up, but I think I saw the price was up to $3.17 when I drove by yesterday.

5. What is one resolution that you know you should do but are too afraid to try?  I don't believe in resolutions, so there is nothing I feel I should do.  I like to set specific, measurable goals that are realistic so I'm not setting myself up for failure.

Just for Fun Reading Challenge

  Just for Fun Reading Challenge 2012

It's been a long time since I've done a reading challenge, and this one is perfect for me!  I have gotten away from reading for fun since going to school full time, then getting sick and not being able to see well to enjoy reading, then being just plain busy with teaching.  It's time to reclaim one of my first loves.

The reading challenge is to read one book a month that is just for fun.  I can do this!  I am going to shoot for reading 20-30 minutes per night, just like we encourage the kids to do.  I used to do this when I was trying to beat my students in AR points last year.  Putting aside time to do this really makes a difference in how much can get read.

Audio books count toward the challenge, too.  Whooo Hoooo!  Now I REALLY need to make sure I have one in the car for the ride to and from work.  I can't wait to see what's going to grab my attention.  I've decided not to try to choose the books now but to let the books call to me as the months pass.

If you choose to join the challenge I'd love to know.  You can keep track of your reading in the comments here so we can share our lists if you want.  I'd love to see what others are reading!

For my January audio book I know I will finish "1105 Yakima Street" by Debbie Macomber because I'm on disk six of eight now.  Winter break has really slowed me down there since I'm rarely in the car alone.  I'm hoping to finish a regular book, too.

Year in Review

I'm linking up to Mama Kat's weekly writing prompts.  This week's choice is:
This year in blog posts…choose a favorite post from each month of 2011 and share


January:  New Year's Resolutions  Looking back at my goals for 2011 kind of makes me laugh.  It reminds me of the saying, "People plan, and God laughs" or however that goes.  This year was DEFINITELY not what I was expecting!

February:  Insecurity In February I started seriously thinking about my first teaching job.  Apparently that           caused a little bit of stress in my mind.  If only I had known...

March:  Card Shower Thank You  I have been on the sending side of MANY card showers.  Being a receiver, though, really showed me how much of a difference such a seemly tiny act makes

April:  My Homeless Angel  This is one of my all-time favorite blog posts

May:  Losing It- A Short Story  I really enjoyed sharing my short story writing during the months I spent trying to recover from complications to shingles.  What an awesome outlet!  If you are interested in more short stories by me, there is a tab at the top of my blog home page.

June:  Home- A Short Story  This is another from my short story collection.  It is one of my favorites that I've ever written.

July:  When It Rains It Pours  July was a CRAZY month of ups and downs.  Thank goodness it was mostly ups!

August:  30 Day Music Challenge  I really enjoy these challenges that give me something to focus on writing.  This one talks about the music played at my wedding.

September:  Bye Bye Netflix  I miss the days when Netflix was all I could ever ask for.  I'm sad they are definitely not offering what works for our family anymore.

October:  Why I Love My House  We moved into a home we used to live in (long story), and I was definitely walking down memory lane on this day.

November:  My Holiday Solution  I had a hard time with Christmas this year.  I was SO proud of my solution that helped me deal with that!

December:  Happy, Healthy Hearts  I can't WAIT to start working with the girls who will be joining my new club at school.

Wow, it was really tough to pick my favorites some months.  It's a good thing this prompt didn't ask me to narrow this down to my favorite post of the year.  I would really have been in trouble!  I hope you enjoy my picks.  I'd love to read a few of your favorite posts, either your own if you are a blogger, or one of mine if you are not a blogger.  Just leave a link in your comments!

G is for Grades 5 and 6

I don't think I could have gotten a job that was better suited for me for my first year of teaching if I had tried.  I LOVE that I get to work with both 5th AND 6th graders, and that I get to see almost 70 students each day.  I was worried, at first, about working in a middle school model.  Would I get bored teaching "the same thing" more than once or the same subject day after day?  The simple answer, as I discovered, is NO!

There are four classes that I work with- two 5th grade groups and two 6th grade groups. I see my 5th graders four times per week for class plus once a week for study hall.  I see my 6th graders every day for class plus twice a week for study hall.  Even though each of the grade levels are pretty much in the same place as far as curriculum it is far from teaching the same every day.  Each of the classes is unique in their needs and their learning styles.  For example, I have one class that does not take written tests.  They are SO much more project-minded, and a written test is not only boring to them, but it doesn't show me what they know.  This class can really knock my socks off if I give them a chance to illustrate their understanding in a creative way.  On the other hand I had one class BEG me to continue with the written tests taken from the text book provided.  These students feel more comfortable having a definitive right and wrong answer and enjoy being able to study to get to the bottom line.  I like being able to give each group what is best for their success.

I do a lot of choices in my classroom, but in the end the students know that I am in charge and will make the final decision.  I let the classes choose things like which read-aloud we are going to do next, if they are going to work in partners or groups of three, or even sometimes which activities we will do on a half-day when class is only 30 minutes long.  I've found this to be an effective way to form a relationship with my classes, even though some of their parents still say I'm scary to their children.  I still can't quite figure that out, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I also make it clear that no means no and cute looks don't buy much lee-way in my classroom.  Homework assignments are due when they are scheduled, and I expect students to take responsibility for their own learning.  Effort goes a long way in my classroom, and those who don't care to work hard don't get the grade they were hoping for.  I feel this is a fair system for everyone.  Just like with my own children, work first, then we can have fun.  When it gets to the fun part we work just as hard at that.  There is a lot of laughter that comes from my classroom.  It may be a good thing we are at the end of the hall.

Wordless Wednesday- December 28

Taken January, 2011

F is for Fred

That weirdo in the picture with me is my brother Fred.  He is the one part of my family that is missing from our every-day life that would make the picture complete.  For this moment he lives on the east coast of the United States, and I am almost on the west.  We have an entire country between us, and that distance is about to get longer.  Fred is going to work in Denmark for three months.  It sounds like a fantastic opportunity.

When we were younger Fred and I didn't get along so well.  I see our fighting in my girls now and realize that is just plain normal for siblings.  I'm glad we grew up to get along much better, though I don't hear from my little brother as often as I would like.  I could pick up the phone, too, so I have to take half the blame.  Our family is just really NOT big on telephones.  Thank goodness for email and Facebook!

E is for Energy

                                                    

Image Credit

Out of everything that has changed since I got sick in March, I miss having energy the most.  Right before I got sick I was working as a substitute teacher and volunteering full time when I didn't have a job to go to.  I was running in the evenings at least three times per week and once on the weekend.  I was eating well and had enough energy to get me through to bedtime at a reasonable adult hour.

After being hospitalized in April I spent four months on the couch.  Near the end of July I decided I was able to apply for teaching jobs, and within a week I was offered a job.  I found out about the job on a Friday and starting working the following Monday.  Needless to say, it was quite the adjustment going from absolutely NO activity to working full-time hours even though I am technically a part-time teacher.

For the first few months of teaching I would literally come home from work, fall asleep in my chair while Daniel cooked dinner, wake up to eat, then go to bed when the girls headed to their rooms.  The last month, though, has been better.  Since starting to see the chiropractor and massage therapist I have been finding more energy in the evening.  In this area I am making a ton of progress!  I have been able to spend a bit of time with Daniel after the girls go to bed, and I can participate in family activities with more enjoyment.

My ultimate goal is to feel like I have enough energy to exercise at the end of every day, but this is a strange catch-22.  Exercise offers more energy, but I don't have the physical strength to get that my heart rate up enough to get that benefit.  Hopefully my new Wii will help with this issue.  For now I'm just learning when enough is enough and to be happy for what I do get to do.

D is for Dancing

               Image Credit

I have to start by saying I don't really care for hip-hop music.  But, I have two pre-teen daughters and one has been nicknamed Hippity Hop, a name that has stuck since the karate instructor kindly pointed out that Andrea might be better suited to a different type of sport or dance.  Daniel has even taken to allowing some of the songs to be played in the car when he is driving.  I am not quite so kind; when I'm driving I get to pick the music.

With that being said I have to admit that I have found some of the music on Just Dance 3 to be just the perfect background for working out.  It all started when my in-laws gave me a gift certificate for Christmas.  I was going to put it toward groceries like I usually do because I have a hard time spending money on myself.  Daniel had used his gift card to get himself a new iPod for running and INSISTED I could not use my card toward household expenses since he was so SELFISH and bought himself something he wanted.  My man is somewhat crazy and apparently doesn't understand that the gift cards are meant to be enjoyed the way the recipient would like.  But, because he had bought himself something he would feel terrible if I didn't also treat myself.  Did I mention that his gift card also got us new sheets for our bed and throw pillows for the couch so I could be more comfortable sitting there?  Anyway, he banned me from using my gift card for something practical and told me to dream.

When we lived in our tiny townhouse we had gotten a Wii, but it was hard to play because we lacked the space to move around.  Since moving into our "new" house I've been wanting to get another one.  When I mentioned for the 50th time I was considering purchasing a Wii with my gift card, Daniel shoved me in the car and said we were going to Target before I could change my mind.  Off we went.  They were out of the Wii package that came with Mario Kart, so I "settled" on the Just Dance bundle.  I'm so glad I did!

One nice thing about the Wii is that it is an active video game system.  The first day I danced for 21 minutes. I started to feel slight pain in my feet, which is my indication that I have had enough.  It took three more days for me to be able to play again.  My body doesn't seem to like ANY kind of physical activity anymore, even though the chiropractor and massage therapist said I should continue light, low-impact exercise.  I'm okay with taking rest days in between if that's what it takes to feel "normal" again.  That first day of dancing I was drenched in sweat and needed to take a shower after.  I haven't had a workout like that in months.  With the Wii I can play for 5 minutes or until I'm ready to quit.  I don't have to worry about getting too far away from home or getting dressed in my workout clothes just to find that getting dressed was exercise enough (yes, that HAS happened).  I turn on the video game, and I stop when I've had enough.

Because of other gift cards I've gotten I was able to get a balance board and Wii Fit, too.  Again, I can't do too much at once, but I can feel like I'm doing something.  I'm hoping to get my mom to come play, too.  I think she would have a great time once she got the hang of it.

C is for Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!  How fitting that the "C" of my ABC book fell on this day.  I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday together and that the gift of peace has found each of your hearts.

Most people who know me well know that Christmas is NOT my favorite holiday.  More accurately the weeks leading up to Christmas are not my favorite time of the year.  Once the actual day gets here, though, I like it.  Not as much as Thanksgiving, but enough to have a good time.

For me, Christmas should be about the time we spend with people we care about.  That is why I like Christmas Day.  We usually get out the door pretty early to start our visiting.  We spend Christmas Day with my mom and dad.  And by saying we spend the day, I mean we spend the DAY.  Even though we live only three miles from them we visit as if we haven't seen them all year.  We have lunch and dinner together, and sometimes we even plan to have breakfast.  We leave late in the evening after enjoying a day of feasting, playing games, and of course, gifts.  I can't remember a year that we didn't wind up taking the dogs for a walk and spending some time at the park.  The gifts are a minor part of the day, just the way it should be.

The above picture is from 2009.  Andrea wanted Club Penguin Mancala so badly.  I didn't understand the game at first, but we played it at home, then it had to be dragged to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Once we caught on, everyone wanted a turn.  We spent hours with that little wooden board and those pebbles.  For such a simple concept the game really does draw a player in.  THIS is Christmas to me.

Homeless veteran receives apartment, aid for Christmas

Homeless veteran receives apartment, aid for Christmas

I'm so glad to see this man get a place to live for Christmas. What a wonderful gift!

B is for Bird

B is for "Bird."  Amber got her nickname when she was an infant, and it has just stuck since then.  Her first birthday party was a Sesame Street theme so we could use the Big Bird nickname as part of the party.  She still has the blanket she was given by our friend Marge that is decorated with Sesame Street characters.  Sometimes the blanket is in the closet, and sometimes it is on the bed.  Either way, the blanket, and the name, is never too far.  Amber even uses the name for her Nintendo Mii.

This picture was taken at Amber's most recent karate competition on December 3, 2011.  My cousin's son, Kyle, is in the picture with her.  We didn't know he would be there, but that was a pleasant surprise.  Amber looks up to Kyle, both literally and figuratively since he is six feet tall at 14-years-old, and she was SO excited to talk karate with him.  This is what I love about my family.  There is always someone to connect with about something in our lives.  We have a very active, involved family apparently.

Amber has found her true love in karate.  Each practice she goes to she gives her best effort, and her instructor is constantly telling us about Amber's potential.  I wonder if they have karate scholarships to colleges?

Outside of her sport Amber loves Nintendo and just bought herself a 3DS with her gift cards from various family members.  She loves all things Mario.  What she doesn't know is that one of her Christmas gifts is a sheet set featuring Mario Kart.  She's going to love it!

Nine Months- An Update

Nine months ago today Daniel called an ambulance because he thought I was having a heart attack.  Nine months ago I went from writing a healthy-living blog to writing up-dates about an illness that no one has yet been able to put a name to.  Nine months ago today was the last time that I woke up in the morning feeling no pain.

A lot can happen in nine months.  In nine months babies can be born.  Nine months is the typical length of a school year.  In my case, though, nine months is just another marker of time that has been spent with little improvements that are getting me nowhere.

Okay, it can be said that I am being dramatic and not looking at the positive side, and in some ways that is true.  In other ways this is me being honest.  Honest with you, and most importantly honest with myself.  The truth of the matter is that I am angry about where I am today.

In April, when I left the hospital after four days of the doctors being baffled about what was going on with me, I expected that I would eventually find out what caused me to wind up in the hospital.  To this point no one knows, and it won't be explored any further because I've given up on those doctors.  More accurately those doctors have given up on me.  The M.D. who sent me to the hospital in the first place as decided the pain is all in my head.  He admitted that complications with shingles should not have caused the pain that I've been left with.  He thinks there are two different issues happening.  So I was never hospitalized due to the shingles as far as he is concerned.  Hmmmm.....

The first neurologist I was seeing assumed my leg pain was caused by shingles and treated me for neuropathy that is common with shingles patients.  Unfortunately he didn't understand that I didn't have a lack of feeling in my feet and legs.  I had something that was tightening my muscles to a point where I was forced to walk like a duck.  He treated me with medication for nerve damage, and though I do have some nerve issues we have since discovered that it is my muscles that seem to be the main culprit.  The medication he put me on almost killed me, and I learned my lesson about speaking out LOUD and CLEAR when I feel something is not right with a diagnosis or medication.

There is one thing that first neurologist said that is weighing very heavily on my heart, and I think this is where most of my negativity is coming from right now.  He said that if I wasn't better by December he would begin to consider this to be a permanent injury.  Now, this comment should have been thrown out the window with the other garbage that came out of his mouth, but I can't seem to shake it.  At this point he would have taken me off the Lyrica anyway and began to treat me for learning to live with my condition "as-is."  Well, here we are.  I'm a few weeks ahead of what his schedule was.  When I started seeing my chiropractor as my main doctor for this a few weeks ago I accepted the fact that I will never again be able to do high-impact activities.  We are working on finding what I CAN do and WHEN I can handle it.

I have been seeing the chiropractor weekly and the massage therapist every two weeks.  The massage therapist described my improvement as "minimal" when I saw her on Wednesday.  We decided to try to go for only a week and a half between visits and see if that makes a difference.  She said that right now my muscles are growing too tight between visits and it's like starting all over again each time she sees me.  What she doesn't know is that my muscles are that tight again within days.  I can't afford to see her more than once a week.  We'll see how this new schedule works, then I'll figure out where I am going from there.

The good news is that I am getting some relief from this combination of massage and chiropractic adjustments.  It's just not what I had wanted for myself as we head into the new year.  To be honest, though, I had told myself if I could teach I would be happy.  I'm teaching, so I need to look at that aspect!  Before seeing the chiropractor and massage therapist I was coming home and falling right into bed.  With their care I am able to stay up and involved until the girls go to bed.  These are improvements, I know this.  They're just not coming fast enough for me.  I'm really a very impatient person!

Boswick the Clown

I wanted to share with you a blog that I've followed for awhile.  Boswick the Clown has some great stories about what it's like to be a clown.  He shares the ups and the downs of being an entertainer.  I noticed that he only has two followers, and he rarely gets comments on his blog.  It must be lonely over there.  I remember when I first started blogging, and I often wondered if ANYONE ever read what I had to write.  If you are so inclined, will you stop by and say hello to Boswick?  You don't need to tell him that I sent you.

A is for Andrea

I decided to try to make an ABC book of my life using my blog.  It may take awhile as I get distracted with other projects, or I might cruise right through.  We'll see what happens.

The first letter of the alphabet is "A," and what immediately comes to mind when I think "A" is the name of both of my girls.  I'll focus on Andrea today, though.  I just realized I don't have many pictures of her recently.  Amber has been getting most of the attention because of her karate tournaments.  That's okay, though.  One thing I came to realize as a parent is that children don't get equal attention all the time.  Andrea's turn is coming up with her Strings concert and trip to Sea World.

This picture was taken on Halloween.  The girls were told that I wouldn't be buying costumes this year.  They had to come up with something on their own, using materials we had around the house.  Andrea took an old dress from a witch's costume, tore some holes in it (with my permission), and made herself into a zombie.  Daniel is really into zombies, and Andrea has picked up that interest.  She did a great job with her make up and made herself look dirty and beat up.  It was a fun night.

Andrea is growing up way too fast.  She'll be 11 in just a couple of weeks.  Why does that sound so much older than the 10-years-old she is now?  Maybe because I know the trouble I got into when I turned 11?  Maybe because she is definitely NOT a little girl anymore?  No matter what the reason, there is no doubt Andrea is turning into a young lady.  I'm looking forward to continuing to watch her grow and mature.  I love this stage where she can have an intelligent conversation and has her own thoughts and opinions on issues.

At this time Andrea loves hip-hop music and wants to learn how to do the dances that go along with this style.  She is well on her way with the new Just Dance 3 game we got with the Wii I got for Christmas.  Andrea loves all things sea life and is looking forward to a school field trip that will take her away from home for three days to visit the ocean and Sea World.  She hopes to spot a whale in the ocean, and the group will be going out on a boat to do just that.  The trip sounds amazing.  She loves her 5th grade teacher, and she is making a lot of friends this year.  I think moving was one of the best things that could have happened for her.  So many opportunities opened up.

The things Andrea doesn't like is homework and chores.  Pretty typical for a girl her age.  She can't seem to keep her room clean for more than 15 minutes at a time.  I remember having some of these same arguments with my mom when I was her age.  Well, I turned out pretty okay in the end, so I'm sure Andrea will, too!

Crazy Arizona Laws

In my quest for something interesting to say I came across an interesting blog post:  Write about a ridiculous law.  I typed "ridiculous Arizona laws" into Swagbucks.com, earned 11 points for the search, and found a fun website, dumblaws.com, that has every state in the nation listed.  One could literally spend all day reading silly laws all across our country.  Some are from years past when the laws made sense but no longer do, but some are brand new laws.  I think this one is probably on of those old-fashioned laws that had to have made sense at some point in time.

Mohave County

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

I couldn't imagine how long it would take to use a whole bar of soap.  At least the person would be clean, though!

One Down, One to Go

Image Credit

I have officially finished my first semester of my first year of teaching.  One semester down, one to go.  I think I have learned more than my students so far this year, but that's okay.  Everyone keeps telling me that is what the first year is all about.

I have to admit that I have had a harder time connecting to my students than I did last year during student teaching.  I think that has something to do with the fact that this year I have 70 instead of 30.  Also, I only see each of my students for an hour a day rather than being with them for the bulk of school time.  My students also have five other teachers each day, so they aren't as chatty as last year's kids who couldn't wait to come in and tell me all about last night's episode of "The Middle."  By the time they get to my class they are all talked out.

There ARE connections being made, however, and the exciting thing is that as long as I get offered a job at the same school next year I will have half of them again.  Since I teach 5th and 6th grade, my current 5th graders will be in my class again.  The students are slowly learning about me as a person, and I learn more about them each day.  One helpful thing I've done is have them write journal entries about what they are learning in Social Studies.  I'm always amazed at some of their thoughts on the topics we are studying.

As we prepared to leave for our three week Winter Break students were in and out of the classroom bringing me gifts.  I never expected to get holiday gifts from middle school students since they have a total of seven teachers they see each week.  I was especially confused because 70% of my students don't celebrate a winter holiday because of their religion.  I love mugs of all sorts, and I got three of those to add to my collection.  I also got some hand-made socks flown in from Turkey, the home country of one of my co-workers.  She asked her mother to make them for me.  That was the most special of all the gifts I think.

The most touching, though, were some of the words written in a couple of the cards.  "Thank you for being such a fun and awesome teacher.  I'm looking forward to seeing you next semester."  This is from a girl who rarely smiles and who seems like she couldn't care less about school.  She was grinning from ear to ear when she handed me a gift bag, though, and I can tell the card was not something she was forced to do.  THESE are the moments I cherish as a teacher.  They don't come often, but when they do they lift the spirits for quite awhile.  Another student, who will not be returning after Winter Break, wrote, "... Most importantly, I really enjoyed being in your class."  As teachers we don't always have positive reinforcement that we are making a difference.  Apparently I am, though.  Even if I don't teach another drop of history, knowing that students are enjoying and looking forward to coming to school to learn has made my year successful.

Four Fill-In Fun- December 16, 2011

1. A mug of hot chocolate, some snacks, and a movie on TV is my ideal winter night. The cold eats me up and makes me feel miserable, so staying inside after dark is ideal.  
2. I don’t remember the last time I had a positive Christmas spirit but, I really want to.  I've come to really dislike Christmas.  I really do hate the idea of this holiday that stresses everyone out.  I think if we got rid of all the obligation and got down to the fun I would enjoy it more.  
3. I will never turn down a massage.  I have come to find that the best way to relax, and massage is doing great things for my feet and legs.  I have actually had a few days without pain recently.  The fatigue is still getting me, but that I can live with.
4. To save money I like to live frugally.  I know... that's a simple answer.  The truth is, we've been living a simple life-style for years before it was the popular thing to do.  The things I do now are just a way of life.  

5 Question Friday: December 16, 2011

1. What's the best Christmas present you've ever received? My favorite Christmas gift is one that I received today, actually. A student wrote me a card telling me how much she enjoys my class and how she is looking forward to next semester. I AM making a difference as a real teacher! Today was the official half-way point through my first year of teaching. I'm going to enjoy this Winter Break!

2. Worst/Funniest White Elephant gift ever received? I've never done a White Elephant gift exchange that I can remember.

3. Is your Christmas tree plain and simple (white lights and matching ornaments) or is it wild and crazy (colored lights with lots of ornaments collected over the years? We have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree this year, by my girls' request. There is only one red ornament and no lights. In years past we have had multicolored lights and lots of ornaments. I'm definitely not coordinated when it comes to Christmas. Memories are the decorations in my home.

4. "How" do you iron your clothes? The old fashioned iron/ironing board way, the shower, back in the dryer, etc. I have a steamer that I use every morning for my work clothes. I love it!

5. How much baking do you do for Christmas and what are your "must make" items? I HATE being in the kitchen, so I avoid baking at all costs. The year I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I did cookies as gifts. I found it to be much easier to buy on-line and have gifts shipped. I'm the first to say home-made gifts are better, but that was WAY too stressful for me!

Blog Prompt: Funeral

“If you knew when you were going to die and you had to plan your own funeral, what type of flowers would you choose? What songs would you choose?”

I don't want to have a big funeral. For me, I would prefer that my family saves the money and uses it toward their living expenses. I do want my parents, brother, children, and husband to be able to say good-bye to me, though, if that is what they want. A very small, private ceremony that lasts no more than 30 minutes would be perfect. Then they should all go have lunch and start finding ways to be happy.

I would not want my family to spend money on flowers. If they insist, they should bring a couple of sunflowers. Since I didn't care for cut flowers in my life, though, I don't think they are a necessary expense after I am gone.

As far as music, I would like to have "Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler," "In My Daughter's Eyes- Martina McBride,"On the Side of Angels- LeAnn Rimes," and "I Hope You Dance- Lee Ann Womack" played. Interestingly, this is the same line-up (except for the Martina McBride song because we didn't have daughters then) as what I wanted played at my wedding. Does anyone find that disturbing?

Happy, Healthy Hearts

I'm so excited! The club idea I proposed for my school has been approved. Each full-time teacher is required to run an after school club to give our students an opportunity to do an activity of their choice throughout the week. The idea is that each student, though implied rather than required, will do at least one of the clubs. I haven't done a club up until now because I am a part-time teacher and don't have the same requirements. Though my teaching status will be staying the same, I decided to jump in and try to fill a need.

Our 6th grade girls can be described with one word- drama. I'm sure that's the case for schools all over the country. Just when we think one issue is resolved, another pops up. Of course, our problems are the typical "she's picking on me" or "I'm not a part of that group." In a very small school (140 students in grades 5-10), I think teachers are able to see and hear more than in a larger school. I see every 5th and 6th grader each day and listen to them in the hallways. Drama inevitably comes into our classrooms, and we have to spend valuable class time handling these situations.

My idea was to start a club for girls only so they could get to know each other, work on self-esteem, learn communication skills, and learn about being healthy both inside their bodies and out. I'm super excited! Dove, the makers of soap for women, has put together an incredible presentation. I am going to be starting with one of their programs. This was meant to be presented in a seminar, but I'm going to break it down into small group activities. We'll do a little bit of the Dove program, then we'll work on other ideas for a little bit so we can get a mixture in each week.

I am looking forward to working with the girls. I know a couple are planning on joining the club already, so I know there is some interest. I am REALLY hoping that the couple of girls I think would get the most benefit from this group will join. They are difficult for me in the classroom and are the driving forces behind many of the drama issues. My hope is that by building a better rapport with them I can be more of an influence and can encourage them to use their leadership skills for the good of our school community.

One thing I'm still working on is a book for the students to read and react to. Everything I'm finding right now is for 7th grade and up. I need something that will fit the reading level and emotional level of my 5th and 6th graders who tend to be a little less mature than public school students. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Heart-4-Seniors

It's funny when I think about Christmas and the panic I feel about not giving enough. Then I think about all I HAVE done and realize that my family is truly blessed. If nothing else, we are able to show others the love we have in our hearts. In many ways that makes us rich beyond all that money can buy.

One way I was able to give this year is by being a member of Heart-4-Seniors. In this group, people send happy messages to senior citizens who may have otherwise been forgotten. This is a group that goes on all year long, but for Christmas we were each assigned a senior to make sure they had something under the tree. This was, of course, optional. I asked for two seniors because they are a couple. The idea was not to get them something big but to have at least one wrapped gift under the tree.

I had every intention of buying my senior couple something nice and mailing it on time for Christmas, but life got in the way. My plan for giving fell through when other expenses started to pile up. Fortunately, with my mom's help, I was able to pull off something nice for my seniors. We put together wonderful packages for both her assigned seniors and mine, and it was all relatively inexpensive. It's amazing what a couple of hand-made projects can do to put together a nice gift. I was impressed when we were finished, and I wasn't feeling bad about not doing enough. I was proud of what my mom and I HAD done with what we had.

I think we often don't give ourselves enough credit when we think about giving. Holding open doors, a smile, a hug... all of these can be gifts themselves. We just don't think about it that way because we've been taught by the media and advertising that we need to spend, spend, spend in order for our gifts to mean anything. I know, having been the recipient of an angel card shower myself, that a small gesture can mean the world to someone who really needs it. From now on I won't criticize myself when I am giving from my heart. Giving a piece of yourself can really make all the difference and is the best thing you have to give.

The best part of Heart-4-Seniors is that I don't give only on the holidays. I give a little extra around those special days of the year, but each week I send out a card with a joke, a word puzzle, or maybe just a hand-drawn smile. I tell the senior a little about my week. I feel good knowing that someone will benefit from my taking a few minutes to share. If you would like more information on this special group, please click here.

If you need great ideas on home-made gifts, please check out my new Facebook page, A Healthy, Home-Made Holiday. I've been collecting ideas from all over the web to help make your holiday just a little lighter on the wallet.

18 Years

Yesterday I realized that December 9th flew by and I didn't really think about it too much. Okay... you are saying to yourself. May 29th flew by and I didn't think about that either. Well, December 9th has been a tough day for me since 1993. On that day my best friend was killed. Up until now the anniversary date has ranged from devastating to sad. This year I had no emotion at all.

In some ways that made me sad to realize that the memory of Kevin is something in my very far past. So far past that I don't even grieve for him in a traditional way anymore. In some ways, though, it made me realize how much I have grown up since then. Kevin's death was half a lifetime ago. I was a young adult, barely 19-years-old when he died. At the time I thought part of me had died with him. That is actually true. The part of me who needed to grow up and stop doing idiotic things that were holding me back in life did die. I wanted to be a better person after Kevin's death. If for no other reason than to prove that this life is worth living.

Looking back I realize that our friendship would have slowly faded away, anyway. I hope that doesn't sound callus or cold. It's reality. He and I wanted different things in life. He would have went one way; I would have eventually gone another. Maybe we would have stayed in touch, but I doubt it. Unlike an old boyfriend who just fades into my memory banks, though, Kevin was torn away from me in a horrible manner. There was no chance to say good-bye. It took 17 years for that process, but it is done. I have outgrown the need for sadness when I think of my old friend. It is now time to celebrate the good parts of our friendship.

I have been extremely blessed that Daniel has been so understanding of the process I've had to go through. He first learned of my emotional connection to another man when we had been dating for a couple of months and were out walking around on the 4th of July. The first of the fireworks in the area went off and I nearly jumped out of my skin. At that time, anything that sounded remotely like a gun shot could set me off in a panic, complete with tears that could last for hours. At that time Kevin had already been gone for six years. Wow, I've come a long way since then.

For many of the last several years I wasn't so much sad that Kevin was gone. That I had learned to live with long ago. I did, however, feel badly for the young adult girl I had been who had so many hopes and dreams upon graduating high school, and life just didn't go the way I had pictured. This year, however, I have a totally different outlook. This year I am proud of who I am NOW. Sure, Kevin's death was tragic, and I had a lot to work through with that. But life DID go on for me, and for that I can celebrate. It may have taken awhile to get here, but I made it.

A lot changes in 18 years, and I'm glad it does. I will never forget Kevin and what he meant to me when I was a girl looking to find her identity. If I could talk to him now, though, I would say thank you for the wonderful memories, but I'm letting go now. I'm moving on and not looking back. Because now that I have truly found myself, I think I'd like to forget that era of my life.

RIP Kevin Lewis Monter 1974-1993

To Blog or Not to Blog

To blog? Or not to blog?

Have you ever thought about ending your blog? What made you change your mind?

I can't tell you the number of times I've thought about closing down my blog. As some of you know, I actually did delete my blog for about 12 hours one time because a crazy stalker just wouldn't stop picking on me. I realized then, though, that my blog has become an important part of my life. I couldn't just throw it away and never look back. I missed my blogger friends, even in that short time.

Since then there have been long periods of time when I just don't have much to say, my thoughts are buried too far inside of myself to bring them to the surface, or I've just been too busy to sit down and type. At those moments I wonder if I should just close up shop. Then I remember that it is when we are the most busy that we need to take time for ourselves. Writing can help bring emotions to the surface. I DO have something to say; I'm just not in the mood to argue my points in public. Whatever the case, it reminds me that if I shut down my blog I wouldn't have anywhere to go when I WAS ready to share.

I am far behind in posting pictures and sharing stories. I didn't get pictures of my daughters at Halloween up here, and Amber has now participated in TWO karate tournaments that I haven't gotten on my blog. It's not because I'm not proud of my girls. That's definitely not true. It's because I'm focused on LIVING with the girls and gathering more memories. There's only so much of life that can be preserved.

So for now, I will continue with my little blog here. I appreciate everyone who reads regularly. I apologize that I don't write now as much as I did when I was sick and sitting on the couch for four months. I take that as a good thing, though. To be honest, I hope to NEVER have that much time to write again!

Giving Others Christmas

Last week a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she has a student who has been coming to school in shorts and a polo shirt with no jacket. Now, we ARE in Arizona, and shorts are pretty standard year round. This student, though, has been coming to school and hour and a half before class starts and has been seen shivering and jumping around to keep warm. My heart broke when my friend started the post like this; as a teacher myself I knew exactly where this story was going. Sure enough, the post ended with a plea for help for this little girl and her sisters. Did anyone have any uniform pants that this teacher could share with the children? And maybe a jacket?

It was amazing to see a group of people come together so quickly and offer what they could. The pants and jackets were taken care of, and my friend was heading to Target that night to get hats and gloves for the girls. What was still not addressed was the fact that the children hadn't been eating dinner because there was no food in the house. They got free breakfast at school, but anyone who has seen that program knows that it is not heavy on the protein and nutrients students need to be as successful as they could be. Lunch was also provided, but that meant that these little girls ate nothing from around 11 AM until 8:30 the next day. I could not imagine how they could possibly focus on homework at the end of a day like that.

Daniel and I went to the grocery store and bought $20 worth of food for the family. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it's what we could do that day, and I wanted to be sure the student could carry the packages in her backpack. We picked up peanut butter and jelly, crackers, spagetti and sauce, and mac and cheese. This are all things that could be prepared by the children if necessary and will fill them up. It is a lot of carbs, but I wasn't so much interested in the quality of the food as getting something in their bellies at night. Let's face it, the first order of business is not going to bed hungry. And, because I believe all children should be able to enjoy time at home I picked up some hot chocolate mix and marshmallows.

The mom was so appreciative of all that was done to help her family. I was told "thank you 12 times over," which is not what I was doing this for. I was doing this because to me, THIS is what Christmas is all about. Helping someone who on every other normal day gets by silently and does the best she can. On a special holiday, though, she deserves a little bit more. Our gift didn't come on the actual day, but maybe now one scared mom can feel comfortable buying a small gift for each of her children, knowing that she can pull a couple of dollars out of her food budget. To me, this is more than the gifts I buy because I feel I have to. My own girls have everything they need and more.

As bills pile up this month, and life gets stressful, let this be a reminder that it isn't about how many gifts are under the tree or how much money was spent. It isn't about what the children THINK they can't live without because all the other kids have one. It's about what families truly CAN'T live without. This season is about the love and the support that we offer each other. It's about coming together to be one group in this world that has become so isolating. Christmas isn't about gifts at all. It's about a need to remember our humanity and our humility. Every one of us can afford to share a smile, a hug, or simply saying, "You are important to me." Every one of us should HEAR that this Christmas. If someone around you has not, please be sure to be the one to give them the greatest gift of all this holiday season.

To my readers: Please know that you ARE important to me. I appreciate every one of your comments, and I enjoy knowing that I am special enough for you to take some of your time to read my words. Have a very Merry Christmas.

Meet Me on Monday- December 5, 2011

It's been a long time since I've participated in a Meet Me On Monday post, but I miss it. And, I MIGHT actually be able to get this one done on Monday!

Questions:

1. Monday's are... a nice new beginning. I enjoy having a day of the week to start over again. If something went wrong in the classroom the week before I have a chance to fix it now that I've arranged my lesson plans to have the time to address the problem. I can change my attitude if I need to. My children and husband also seem to enjoy Mondays because they get to start fresh as well. Sunday is for recharging and preparing for Monday.

2. What is your favorite kind of milkshake? Did someone say milkshake? It doesn't mater to me what flavor. I'll take it! Jack-in-the-Box often has some great flavors advertised. The problem is now I don't know if they are gluten-free so I have been avoiding them.

3. What monthly bill do you most dislike paying? Does anyone enjoy paying any bill? I think the one I most dislike is the electric bill. Outside of rent, that one is the highest and seems so high. Thank goodness we do "managed pay" so the amount is the same all year round. It's nice to have a predictable bill that way.

4. How many email addresses do you use on a regular basis? 3- my main address, the one I use for blogging and entering giveaways, and my work email.

5. What color lights are on your Christmas Tree? We don't have lights on our tree this year. We all picked out a Charlie Brown Christmas tree which has one ornament and a blanket around the bottom. Too cute!